Saturday, January 26, 2013

7 week ultrasound

Friday was the big day! Husband and I drove down to where the daddies live for our first ultrasound.
It sure was eventful
Not even a quarter of the way into our trip, and the snow starts. Of course it would.
I crashed our car :(
Well, I wasn't going very fast, and no other car was involved- that's a bonus.
Long story short, we now have a rental car and the bonus I'm getting from work is now going for our deductible :(
Sounds about right.
We are fine and baby mocha is fine

That's right!
1 little monkey is jumping on the bed.

Although our appointment was pushed back, we were still able to be seen that day.

So I dropped my draws and had another meeting with Wandy.
One cute little heartbeat and all the fixings.
I was unexpectedly sadder than I anticipated.
I cried a little. Then cried a lot.
Thankfully everyone was able to cheer me up- for the most part.
I know there's nothing more I could have done but there were 2...... And now there's 1 :(
I feel like I let everyone down.
The competitive side in me really was hoping for two; it worked for previous surrogates, so why not me? Why couldn't I get to give them 2 babies ? I tested positive SO early!
Plus I remember when I had my first son, my husband and I fought over him all the time about who got to change him and feed him and snuggle. Neither of us wanted to share.
Considering the long road the guys have been down, I thought it would be pretty neat if they could kind of both have a baby to themselves.
Thought squashed.
I'm better today after a good nights sleep- but it's still sad.
No more dwelling on it though because I need to concentrate on the strong and healthy one that's brewing.
Nothing but positive from here on out.
It's always a fantastic time hanging out with the dads. We went to their beautiful house and I got to see the baby's room :) so cute!
We watched an episode of The New Normal and laughed at all the inappropriate- ness.
Then went to dinner and whole foods for more pregnancy tea!
Excluding the car accident, it was an awesome day. I got homemade-from-scratch chocolate chip cookies. Mhmmm. Be jealous because I'm not even exaggerating ..... Best cookies I've EVER had. Fo real!
Next ultrasound appointment is February 8th!
God knows my heart and knows what I'm hoping to get out of this experience. I trust that He is in control of every aspect of this journey. Reality is, with a twin pregnancy comes greater risk. God truly only gives us what we can handle and it's not up to anyone else to question.
Myself included.
God wants me to carry one sweet baby for these rockin dads- so that's what I'm going to do!

So far my symptoms are very manageable. I've been sick for what seems like a week but its not pregnancy related. I do have morning sickness most evenings but I'm learning how to avoid it. It's no where near as bad as it was with my boys so I am praising God for that!
The shots on the other hand, well, there's no sugar coating that. They stink! It's all in love for this sweet bean and I know it will be over soon. I just find it funny that at one point I was excited for shots. What was I thinking :/

I've started looking into a birth doula and possibly a birth photographer.

Call me crazy but I'm also planning on going med free this birth. I know I can do it as long as I have experienced help guiding me through.

So so so looking forward to feb 8th when I get to see the guys again and see how much the baby has grown. I love seeing them when they look like gummy bears :)

Monday, January 14, 2013

Beta #2

I was hoping for a much bigger number, but the beta for today was 3643.
I'm starting to think there's just one mocha bean in there, but twinsies are not ruled out.
Ultrasound is set up for January 25th!
So exciting! The dads-to-be will be accompanying me ;)
Looking forward to hearing that sweet heartbeat(s)
Not much else going on around here, some sleepiness, few cravings randomly, and massive pregnancy brain :D
Good signs
I'm going to keep trucking away at the pregnancy smoothies and organic tea. My special indulgences :)
Ill update as soon as possible once we have the ultrasound!
Thanks for all your prayers- I certainly rely on them for myself

Thursday, January 10, 2013


I'm so sorry I waited this long to update!
Honestly, I didn't think anyone outside of Facebook actually read my blog. Glad to know I was wrong

So I went in on the 7th for beta


After not wanting to wait the whole day....

I looked up my own results in the computer at work

I know that I technically probably shouldn't have done that, but, I have 0 patience. And also technically, it's not violating HIPAA.
Beta was

I immediately started poas the morning we left LA. The morning after we got home, which was 4dp5dt, and December 31st, I swear I saw a second line. It was literally so faint I could have been imagining it.
Tested on a digital at noon=negative
Tested on another First response at 6pm and got a very very there positive!!!!
Just for funsies I tested on a digital again around 11:30 and got a beautiful "pregnant"!!!!
Talk about in shock!
I couldn't believe it! First of all it was evening urine. Secondly it was a digital!!
I started crying and shaking and wanted to shout it from the rooftops but instead I sent some friends a pic
I also sent a pic to the daddies at around 10 minutes till midnight and said happy new year;)
I seriously wanted to do something so cute and fun as a way to break them the news but once I saw that pregnant sign I couldn't hold it in another minute!

Based off of the sensitivity of the test, we did our own math to try and guess the beta. We were pretty on target
So for now, the next beta is on the 14th!
And as long as everything is doubling correctly, an ultrasound will be scheduled for the 25th. I will be 6 weeks6 days at that point so we should definitely see a heartbeat........ Or two ;)

It took a couple days to sink in that I'm actually pregnant and I've had so much relief knowing it worked the first time.

I've been eating super healthy and enjoying the time I have not barfing for fear it will soon be here.
Only a few pregnancy symptoms so far- ahhh this is so amazing

I feel so honored to be able to help
I have never felt closer to God

Pray for great beta numbers!!!
I promise ill update Monday once I get (look up) the results ;)